Betcheslovethissite.com has been online and hysterically read by all our favorite betches for a while now but they continue to impress … If you have ever felt like there is too much positive influence for women in our society today, this site is your new best friend. “Betches” are girls who are pretty, thin and cool. And if you are a Betch, or even sort of a Betch, you will indeed LOVE this site. They are proficient in all the “abbrevs” you thought only you used, tell you how to handle the “dud” in your group, first dates, landing pros (as opposed to ‘bros’), and more. They explain how to never question yourself, dress like a slut, fulfill your inner desire to be shady, fake smile, avoid working, drink bottled water ONLY, be smarter than everyone else, and more. Obviously their idol is Regina George and even their tagline reads: “So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?” (character and line from Mean Girls for the newcomer).
At first glance, the site may seem harsh, but if you stick with it you’ll realize, a Betch is just a girl who has good self-confidence, a developed personality and stays in shape. Don’t you all wana be Betches now? Thought so. The ‘Betches’ will tell you everything you need to know about existing on this planet. A friend remarked this site is “the most significant shit written since the bill of rights” and it’s semi true. Here is a recent exert about the Blackberry dilemma, which as any betch knows stems from iPhones being #duh superior but BBM being the spinal cord of most of our social lives — and only lives on the practically defunct Blackberry system. Read and learn Trufflers …
68. The iPhone Switch
Let’s face it, BBM is a prison and our obsession with it was like a case of fucking Stockholm Syndrome. But finally, #45 graduation cometh and suddenly having a Blackberry was like tweeting #winning two weeks after Charlie Sheen’s rants. You don’t even realize how nice it is to lose the feeling of obligation to answer people until you no longer have BBM. It almost makes you want to answer them more.
We all knew this switch was going to happen sooner or later because Apple products have always been superior to anything else in their industry. Like who doesn’t feel uncomfortable when you’re forced to use a PC or find out a close friend actually has one? Makes you reassess your entire friendship. PCs are for poor people and the government.
Apple reflects everything that a betch aims to represent. It’s sleek, chic, and ahead of its time. The products make life easier, aiding betches in #36 never doing work, and are therefore amazing. Companies try to sell PCs by lowering the price, but Apple makes shit expensive. Betches respond well to elitist marketing strategies.
Anyways, we’re die hard for the iPhone now. A betch can rule the world from her iPhone. Shit syncs from your phone to your iTunes to your iCal to your fucking heart monitor. The only thing it’s missing is a #31 wine opener app.
Also Hanging with Friends and Angry Birds make Brick Breaker look like it was designed by a caveman. Yayyy for Apple coming in and devising new ways for us to tune out those around us!
The iPhone also provides a new way for betches to express themselves. White or black? White for the girly girl, black for the power betch. Likewise, your choice of iPhone case makes a huge statement. Because everyone’s so fucking unique with their mass produced piece of plastic.
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