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TV Re-Caps

Gossip Girl Final Season Recap — Ep. 9 Show Finale

dan-humphrey-gossip-girl

It could have been any girl in any clique at any school in any town where Dan Humphrey wound up … But it was Serena on the Met steps at Constance Billard and St. Jude’s prep on Upper East Side. And so it began …

He had the wrong clothes, the wrong life, the wrong family, and the wrong mentality. But he watched close, started a blog, and wrote himself into their world.

Serena, Blair, Nate and Chuck were Dan’s peers — and material. They lived in hotels, drank bone-dry cappuccinos, followed a dress code for brunch, and the liberty to travel and charge house accounts and max our credit cards without parental consent.

 

Many of your editors here at the Truffle grew up spending inordinate amounts of time in NY — attending classes at Dalton, shopping at Bendels, and driving out to South Hampton with our friends we met at Swiss and East Coast boarding schools and later on through abroad programs in Paris and Oxford and then of course even later via jobs in Hollywood and on Wall Street. Through it all we amassed a rolodex full of friends we couldn’t seem to escape rather it was a London nightclub, a flight to Aspen or a weekend trip in Florida. Everyone we knew was always right there too. And when we met new people it became a game of “oh, do you know …?”

This is one of the many reasons we enjoy and appreciate the show. From polo to prescription pills to dinner with Lou Doillon in Paris to partying in the Hollywood hills … most every moment of the show was a relatable “damn, do we know the writers” moment for us here at the Truffle.

Which brings us to our first Gossip Girl topic we want to breakdown ….

“One of us”

Serena asks Blair in the final episode “what does that even mean?” We can answer that: Being ‘one of us’ means the same thing it means when you are sitting with a good friend and someone says something you both think is wrong or stupid and you don’t dare exchange a glance for fear your looks of bitchiness will show. It could be any topic and any group. Some people understand each other — and some people don’t.

No matter if you are on the UES or in Williamsburg or DC or LA — There are always going to be the Chucks & Blairs of the world where they only like people who are exactly the same or who will serve them — but there will also always be their best friends Serena or Nate who don’t give an f.

If you want a fool proof way to skirt any tough to penetrate circle —  develop the following three skills: be fun, interesting, and stylish. Or get yourself a high-profile power job like Nelly Yuki.

Dan was simply not that well-dressed until his dad married Lily, wasn’t that interesting until he became a novelist which was the point Blair decided he was date-able, and was never fun. Ergo …

Show Acceptance

Some of those closest to the Truffle core — many of whom went to the same school, Nightingale Bamford, with (and some at the same time as) Cecily Von Ziegesar, scribe of the original Gossip Girl book series — often say the TV show bastardized the masterpiece that were the books and refused to watch the show at all. Many who tried the show felt it failed much of the books’ plots, character personalities, and other major and minor facts. But we can safely say 99% came around to agree this was indeed — as New York Magazine stated: “The Best Show Ever.”

Cameos

In the vain of Entourage, the success is in the details. Countless cameos littered GG like stamps of authority on the Upper East Side: Michael Kors, Charlotte Ronson, Mayor Bloomberg, Tyra Banks, Alexa Chung, Nacho Figueras, Joe Zee, Tinsley Mortimer, Rachel Zoe, Diane Von Furstenberg, Tory Burch, Georgina Chapman, Tim Gunn, Barneys’ Simon Doonan, Vogue editors Hamish Bowles and Lauren Santo Domingo, W editor Stefano Tonchi, singers Robyn and Lady Gaga, author Jay McInerney (Bright Lights, Big City), Simon & Schuster publisher Jonathan Karp, film director David O. Russell, and even Punchdrunk’s Sleep No More.

All time fave quotes:

“You will never be as young, or as thin or as beautiful as you are right now.” — Eleanor to Blair

“What is this man, your hotel? — Dan to Chuck
“Actually, yes.”

“Loose the scotch — it’s barely noon.” — Bart to Chuck

“I can tell you’re up to something. Please, let me in on it — I haven’t been this bored since I believed in Jesus. – Georgina to Dan

“You’re not wearing that with that — Are you?” — Lily to Serena

“My mom wont let me learn to drive because she says that’s what drivers are for.” – Serena to Dan

“Excuse me … I don’t like my ice to get lonley.” — Cece to waitress

“Even you should know that jealousy clashes with LL Bean pants” — Jenny to Dan

More Pending …

 

 

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 3 Recap — Ep. 5

Taylor vs. Brandi’s Book Deal Brawl

Dear Camille – please send us the details of you etiquette coach. A year ago, you would have been the the focus of this book deal brawl but this season, we don’t hear a peep. P is for progress!

Dear Yolanda – Did you say “unborn fetus of a baby lamb”? Let us know.

Dear Kyle – Why are you always attacking Lisa? This started at the end of season 1 and it’s never been addressed.

Dear Lisa – We were pretty sure you wouldn’t play a sport where bad-mitten balls fly at your face.

Dear Adrienne – When cartwheeling amoung friends and a TV crew, do first  put on eunderwear wti some coverage and if your friends can only lend you a g-string, leggings are a next best.

Dear Brandi – Congratulations on your book deal telling the unknown story of your divorce. Also, props for the following quote: Adrienne took her weave out and did some work.

Dear Yolanda darling – You may indeed want to find a new crowd of friends. Also, you are throwing your ice water way to hard for America. Take it down a notch.

Gossip Girl Final Season Recap — Ep. 8

So, this is how you become Bart Bass

Let’s skip right to the trailer for next week’s episode with the plane crash. According to the internet Chuck does not actually die in that crash because Victoria Grayson taught him how to fake die in an air plane. So let’s not worry about that one.

We are suspecting a good-guy end game with Dan at this point because it’s just not possible for him to be this hot. Our guess is there is a long term plan Dan is carrying out for the benefit of the group …

Questions:
Did Blair really dress up like sexy Pocahontas for Thanksgiving?
What is a wong-kim-pow-chip push up bra?
How did B get all of Bart’s passwords?
How does Nate know how to use a computer?
Why was Dorato cooking Serena and Dan’s Thanksgiving even before B was invited?

Quotes:

  • Is this the speech where u tell me were from different worlds? Yah, I wrote the book. (Dan to Rufus)
  • Hey Dominique Dummy. (someone to Dan)
  • Aren’t u suppose to be on a white sand beach where no one pays capital gains tax? (group to Lily and Bart)
  • Darling, you went grocery store! I’m so proud. (Lily to S)
  • Doesn’t event thing look wonderful. The bar certainly does. (Chuck to group)
  • I came up here to make up, not to watch you and Chuck play Wikileaks. (Sage to Nate)
  • You can watch … She’s a keeper Nate. (Sage, Chuck)
  • Thank you everyone for coming, even Georgina who I didn’t actually invite … but thank you. (Sererna)
  • Do not leave me alone with them. Last time I attended a shunning — I ended up in Siberia. (Georgina)

Awkward Moments:

  • Dan’s v-neck (still)
  • Steve being Gluten-free
  • Chuck watching Sage and Nate’s “5 minutes”
  • Bart’s password is “ParkAve740”

Notes …

Best Spirit Crushing Moment:

You were suppose to be different — Serena
I use to be … It got me nowhere, so now I’m the same — Dan

Best New Evil Elevator-Trio:

Bart + Dan + Georgina

Biggest Fallacy:

They fear you Dan … Welcome to the upper east side — Rufus to Dan. (We don’t feel like anyone fears Dan. Do you?)

Inside referenecs:
I was thinkng about Taking a few days at Miraval — This is universal code for I’m getting a face lift or my husband may kill me

xx

Gossip Girl Final Season Recap — Ep. 7

The secret society made of the monarchs of the 5 most powerful schools – Dons Brealey, Nightingale, Chaplin, Spence and Constance

Last night’s GG was trickier than Battleship. William van der Woodsen returns in a surprise twist where he is revealed to be conspiring (with benefits) with Ivy. They teamed up after he helped Lola transfer her share of Cece’s inheritance to Ivy. Does this make Lola in the running to be Gossip Girl?

The Bart / Chuck war is raging on and it’s now taking casualties. Nate’s mystery backer turns out to be Bart who was investing in a future time when blackmailing Nate would help him defeat Chuck.

After Dan and Serena have espresso in bed, Dan tells Georgina he is writing a Serena Chapter. This means nothing as we can no longer count on the CW writing team to carry through on a thought.

Did anyone notice the nuns walking around behind Bart while he is on the phone? What was that? Confession? Confused.

Quotes:

  • Chuck: “Send all the maids you have.”
  • Blair: “The gift bags must be perfect.” (True that B, true that).
  • Sage: “The Katniss Everdeen Generation.”
  • Nellie: “We already have Stella, Phoebe and the Mulleavy sisters.”
  • Ivy: “All I want is for Lily to be left with no one and nothing.”
  • Blair: “My dads not a Beatle (refers to Stella McCartney) and I’m not in high school.”
  • Ivy: “I’m giving Lily her comeuppance.” (Rufus clearly has taught Ivy how to play Scrabble at the loft)
  • Blair: “I want a meeting of the 5 families … Invoke the order of the secrets.”
  • Sage: “When it comes to power the mob trumps the monarchy.”

Awkward moments:

  • Dan’s v-neck
  • Ivy and William Baldwin …
  • Bart’s wife beater
  • When Lily uses the possessive form of Charles.

Cameos:

  • DVF was mentioned — that would be Diane Von Fusterberg
  • Stella, Phoebe and the Mulleavy sisters refers to McCartney, Chloe and Rodarte.
  • Teddy bear at the hotel is the infamous Instagram-able stuffed animal “Bowery Bear” on all the beds of the Bowery Hotel.
  • Sarabeth’s is a real breakfast spot in NY
  • Barney’s Coop has lots of pop-up shops like B for Waldorf

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 3 Recap — Ep. 4

Best moment of RHOBH was an ad for these two guys

Due to a boring, over-promotional episode of RHOBH last night with one too many stretch Hummers, we are refraining from our usual coverage. Let’s not make 90210 the laughing stock of the world people.

Thoughts:

  • The best moment of the show by far was the trailer for Lisa’s new show.
  • The only “LA thing” they got right last night was: Cry drink Lexipro, cry drink Lexipro.
  • Brandi’s book publisher Harper Collins in the same publisher who put out “If I Did It” by OJ Simpson

Quotes:

  • Brandi: I’ve never sat at a business meeting before.
  • Brandi: I have a wrinkle on my thumb.
  • Brandi: I see your daughters sometimes … Kim: yeh they don’t like you.

Awkward:

  • The finale cartwheel

Gossip Girl Final Season Recap — Ep. 6

Who can’t see this?

We now understand why Blair has been so lame on every episode this fall; it’s all been a set-up for her ultimate comeback, and setting the stage for the power couple we knew was coming: Sage + Blair.

Best Quotes:

  • “Even Beck said no” – Rufus on his guest list
  • “Financial records from illegal oil trade.” — the most complex thing Nate has ever said
  • “I’m powerless over my scheming and my life has become unmanageable” — Blair
  • “A work of Bart” — Gossip Girl (or Dan, as some of our truffle hunters are now voting)
  • “I’m Salieri, you’re Mozart” – Blair to Eleanor
  • If you’re not good, I will bring back Vanessa back from a 3rd world country.” — Serena trying to win Dan back

Pop it Dan!

Awkward Moments:

  • Chuck employing Nate to loosen the lips of another man
  • Dan’s Vespa wheelie
  • Nate cracked the code to Bart’s henchman’s “Traffic” reference

Questions:

  • Who would win in a hands only fight between Lily vs Ivy?
  • How come Chuck just didn’t rip the envelope off the back of the painting instead of paying 1.1 Mil?
  • Does Ivy’s hair look better curly or straight?
  • Why are there suddenly so many paparazzi interested in Serena just bc she and Dan have a sex tape? And has she really always been good at pool.

Cameos

  • Art Production Fund’s Benefit is a real event for a real charity
  • The Conrad is a real hotel in New York
  • Via Cardona (unknown — comment below if you know)
  • Benedict Tate (unknown — comment below if you know)
  • Patrick McMullen, Spencer Sweeney, Fab Five Freddy at the art auction — All real people.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 3 Recap — Ep. 3

Yolanda’s many achievements

This episode of the Housewives raised some key concerns: Kyle keeps bringing Taylor to people’s houses, Kim must actually be sober because she is now consistently attending events, and Yolanda and David Foster are hands down the most awkward dinner hosts TV has ever seen.  We’ve also learned Yolanda was married to Lisa’s friend Mohammed, and that David and Mohammed use to be friends. Are we going to see a cat dog fight this season?

Here is the schedule for dinner when you go to the Fosters:

  • 8pm dinner
  • 9pm listen to songs that remind you of your dead husband
  • 9:15pm leave

Awkward moments:

  • Ken fetching Lisa’s Chanel purse
  • Kyle to David: Don’t stop David, don’t stop.
  • At the dinner party: Of course Lisa already knows everyone (David, the butler, etc.) and no one knows Taylor (yah, we’ve met … remember me??)
  • Kyle dating David by saying she use to listen to his music in her mom’s Ford Model T
  • Kim’s doorbell plays the National Anthem
  • Kim tries to act casual making salad with her hands
Quotes: 
  • “The only thing uglier than a drunk woman is having less than 12,000 square feet.” – Yolanda
  • “Kenny G, Babyface and Barbara Streisand couldn’t make it tonight … Such a shame.” – Yolanda
  • “I’m not sure I can fit this in my mouth.” — Taylor
  • “When I was your age, I’d roll Kim’s Witch Mountain sponsored Ferrari down Rodeo Drive just to see how many people I could hit.” – Kyle
  • “Yolanda’s aura is so amazing; she’s totally a Capricorn. Oh she’s a Virgo? Yah, totallyyyy!” – Kim

Questions:

  • Did anyone not recognize a single name on Kim’s famous teen heartthrob list?

Notes to the cast:

  • Kyle (thumb snap): No make-up at the table!!
  • Cast: The “butler” is not stalking you. He is a professional caterer.

There is to more room in that limo!